A happily married man, one night, asked his wife to have sex “doggy style.””No!” she said, aghast. Throughout their long relationship, he would periodically ask her to have sex “doggy style.” She always emphatically said “No!” Finally, on the man’s deathbed, he asked his wife why she refused his simple request to have sex on [...]
Sat Nov 28
Movie Ratings Explained:
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The Good Guy Gets The Girl.
R: The Bad Guy Gets The Girl.
X: Everybody Gets The Girl.
XXX: Everybody gets the girl, her mother, and her dog!
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Fri Nov 27
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,’ he mumbles, from behind the mask ‘Are my testicles black?’ Embarrassed, the young [...]
Thur Nov 26
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: “Ddddooo youuuu hhhave dddddildosss?” [...]
Wed Nov 25
Two men were in the pub discussing their latest sexual conquests. The first man says he pulled this girl last week and they agreed to go back to his house and have sex. Once in the house the girl stripped off, lied down on the bed legs apart and panted, “I want you to give [...]
Tues Nov 24
All eyes turned to stare as Suzanne, a gorgeous redhead walked into the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her. “Where’s your costume?” he hissed through clenched teeth. “This is it,” she calmly explained. “I came as Adam.” “Adam?” her host exploded. “You don’t even have fuck’ n a dick!” “Well gee, I just got [...]
Mon Nov 23
Returning from the men’s room, a bar customer was shaking his head. “What’s the matter?” inquired the bartender. “While I was in the bathroom back there, I noticed among the scribbling on the wall, and one that said: WENDY GIVES REALLY FABULOUS HEAD – ABSOLUTELY THE GREATEST B.J. IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!” replied the [...]
Sun Nov 22
A man goes to a whore house and tells that “madam” that he’s been around the world and has had every type of woman. He said he would like something different this time. She sends him up to Mabel’s room. He walks in and finds this “drop dead” gorgeous woman. He tells her that although she [...]
Sat Nov 21
A man brought his date back to his apartment, ripped both their clothes off and then said, “I’d like you to meet my little friend.” The woman took a look, gathered her clothes and said, “Call me when he grows up.”
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Fri Nov 20
Wayne goes to the school therapist. During the session, the therapist asks, “How is your sex life?” “I have a lot of issues with sex,” Wayne replies. “What kind of issues?” the therapist asks. “Oh, mostly Hustler, and Penthouse.”
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