Sat July 26

An eighteen-year- old boy was drinking in a bar. He asked

an older man sitting next to him, “I want to learn all about women.

What do you call that little magic button in a woman’s slit?”
“A clitoris.”
“What’s the brown part around the nipples?”
The older man replied, “That’s the areola.”
“Wow, you know everything,” the boy said.

“How about that smooth patch
of skin between a woman’s cunt and her asshole?”
The older man thought for a moment, then answered,

“I don’t recall the scientific name. But most of the fellas

around here call it a fuck’n chin rest.”

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=580375

Fri July 25

“I always worry when you leave for a weekend with the guys,” sobbed the pretty young wife. ”Don’t worry about me, babe,” he soothed her.  “I’ll be back before you know it.”  “I know,” she sighed. “That’s what fucking worries me.”

.

http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=577903

Thur July 23

The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed. “But sir,” said the clerk, “you have the best room in the hotel.” “I insist on another room!!” said the drunk.”Very good, sir.  I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don´t like 502?” asked the clerk. “Well, for one thing,” said the drunk, “it’s on fuck’n fire.”

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=577897

Wed July 22

The angry wife met her husband at the door.  There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.  “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?”  “There is,” he replied. “I want fuck’n breakfast.”

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=577892

Tues July 22

Sadie and Sophie are sitting at the kitchen table, bragging.
“My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami,” says Sadie. “She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends. “  Sophie replies, “Yeah, my daughter’s a fucking whore too.” 

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=577884

Mon July 21

As John and Jill parked in a crowded lovers lane, Jill sighed romantically: “Its lovely out here tonight just listen to the crickets.”
“Those aren’t crickets, ” John replied. “They’re fuck’n zippers.” 

.

http://www.imagebeaver.com/photos/574439-.html

.

There is a problem with the Image beaver but it will be up soon, I hope.

Sun July 20

“God damn! What the fuck happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly a  he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. “I got in a tiff with Riley.” “Riley? He’s just a little fuck,” the barkeep said, surprised. “He must have had something in his hand.” “Aye, that he did,” Kelly said. “A shovel it was.” “Dear Lord, didn’t you have anything in YOUR hand?” “Aye, that I did — Mrs. Riley’s fucking tit.” Kelly said, “And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight!”

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/photos/574436-.html

Sat July 19

Did you hear about the stressed out Priest who went to the Doctor in a panic and asked him, “What does it mean Doc, when I go pee it burns like the Fire of Satan and I have this God awful drip?” The Doc,smiled and said, “It means the alterboy lied. He wasn’t a Virgin.”

  .

http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=574434

Fri July 18

Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda, who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what she did for a living. Linda winked at Mike and said, “I’m a magician.” “No way,” Mike scoffed. ‘Prove it.” So Linda touched him on the thigh, and “Poof” Mike turned into a fucking hotel.

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=571716

Thur July 17

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to

make you the happiest woman in the fucking world.

 The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss your ass…’

 

 http://www.imagebeaver.com/view.php?mode=gallery&g=571715