A married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?” “Yes” she replies. “He’s my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago.” “That’s remarkable” the husband replies. “I wouldn’t think anybody could celebrate that long.”
Sat July 4
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on July 4, 2009 by lefturnChris and Choche were talking one day when Chris says, “I went to see the doctor the other day for that pain in my back.” “So what happened?” Choche asked. “Well, he ran a bunch of tests, gave me some pills and sent me home. Told me to stay in bed for a week. He also told me to sit down whenever I had to pee. Can you imagine that? A grown man having to sit to pee?” “Why would he want you to sit to pee?” Choche asked “Well”, said Chris, “With my bad back, he doesn’t want me picking up
anything too heavy.”
Thur July 2
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on July 2, 2009 by lefturn“Dinner, wine, music, dancing, flowers… he tried all the moves to get me between the sheets,” Bobsie confessed to her best friend. “Well, what happened?” asked Carol. Bobsie sighed and said, “All of them worked!”
Wed July 1
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on July 1, 2009 by lefturnA Polack is hunting in Arkansas and shoots at a deer. Upon closer examination he realizes that it was a cow. Going up to the nearest farmhouse, he explains the mistake he has made to the farmer. “My God!” the farmer says, “You done kilt my favorite heifer. She had a pussy just like a woman’s!” “Don’t worry,” the Polack says, “I’ll bring over my wife. She has a pussy like a fuck’n cow’s.”
Tues June 30
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on June 30, 2009 by lefturn “When I realized that I couldn’t satisfy my wife’s insatiable sex appetite,” the man said to his drinking buddy, “I bought her quite an assortment of every sex toy made, thinking that would keep her faithful.” “Did it work ?” asked the friend. “Well, kinda…” the man replied. “But now, every time I do feel like a little, I find myself 3rd or 4th in line.”
Mon June 29
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on June 29, 2009 by lefturnA great woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. “Yes we do,” he answers. “What size would you like?”She replies, “Oh, just mix them up, I am not going steady with anyone right now.”
Sun June 28
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on June 28, 2009 by lefturnThe backwards hillbilly girl walked into the drugstore to buy tampons for the first time, after looking at shelf upon shelf of feminine hygiene products she timidly approached the pharmacist with her dilemma, I’m confused by all these different brands an sizes, she confessed, don’t know which ones to buy.`I see, said the pharmacist, tell me, what’s your flow like? Puzzled the girl replied,’ it’s linoleum, why?
Sat June 27
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on June 27, 2009 by lefturnThis old couple is ready to go to sleep, so the old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies on the floor.The old man asks, “Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”
Fri June 26
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on June 26, 2009 by lefturnA sweet young thing took her seat on opening day of her college class. The young man behind her tapped her on the shoulder and said, “What are you doing, wearing a football jersey?” She replied, “Why, I bought it and own it, why shouldn’t I wear it?” He said, “You’re not supposed to wear it unless you’ve made the team.” “Oh,” she replied sweetly, “Who did I miss?”
Thur June 25
Posted in Funnies with tags pics & toons on June 25, 2009 by lefturnThe blonde was recovering after having given birth. She asked for ice. The nurse provided it, then watched as the blonde placed the ice between her breasts.”What are you doing that for?”
“That’s to keep the milk fresh.”
